Jan 4, 2012

ZOMG A Comic!

LOOK GUYS I'M ALIVE. But don't expect any more comics. I'm busy working on a secret thing that I will tell you about later maybe. IT IS SECRET. In the meantimes, I drew this comic over the summer. It's really creepy. I am like the creepiest creeper, THAT'S ME. I would win in a creepin contest. But enough about child molesters, time for COMIC FUN TIMES:
NOW WASN'T THAT FUN. Can you believe this was the only thing I've done since last May? Yep... I'm the laziest comic maker ever. I even have a cat now. That's endless comic fodder. And yet I am sitting here doing other stuff when I could be drawing comics. At this rate I will NEVER be famous! Oh well, I'll draw more once I'm done re-watching all the My Little Pony episodes again...

Jul 30, 2011

King of Dicks

I have this friend who is a dick. He lives with Leif. His name is Stephen R Hamilton, but IRL I call him Benoit. Sometimes when I'm watching Leif's shows, he walks in and casually drops spoilers because he feeds off the suffering of others. Fortunately, his spoilers are always false, as far as I know... but there is always the possibility that he is telling the truth at least one of the times. This is just one of the many things that crowns Stephenr King of the Dicks.
Also, this comic got water spilled all over it, and apparently that means pencil lines won't erase. So the quality is a little shittier than usual. If this makes you angry, take your aggression out on water and go punch some raindrops.

PS: For those of you who don't watch BSG, Commander Adama is like... the main character. Sort of. He's at least one of the awesomest characters. So his death would be kind of a big deal.

Also also, the next post will be about kittens, because I have one. I don't know when it will happen. But it will happen.

Jul 10, 2011

Summer YEAH

So yeah... it's been a whiiile since my last update. I am sure everyone thought I was dead or in a coma or in space, or in space in a coma. Unfortunately, I wasn't doing anything nearly as cool as being dead or being in a space-coma. I was watching Battlestar Galactica and looking at the internet. But I managed to find time in my INCREDIBLY busy schedule of BSG and internetting to write this comic about why I haven't done comics in forever. PS there's a new character! HOW WILL YOU EVER KEEP TRACK OF THEM ALL. His name is Leif and the only reason he exists is so I can use his internet, because I don't have any yet and he lives across the street from me. Also sometimes he fixes my computer. So he's a very important character.

Apr 27, 2011

Exams Are OVER

I have FINALLY finished exams. My month-long absence has been due to studying. I really didn't want to fail anything. I believe most of my audience is other college students, so you get me. That is, if I still have an audience after being gone for so long.

Studying is new to me... and has proved to be quite difficult. Three of my exams went a'ight. But Chemistry sucked. It sucked a lot. It sucked so much, I won't have to vacuum my carpets for weeks. Not that I have carpets... but if I did, they would be very clean from all the suckage. So here you are, a shiny new comic with extra lines in it to make it look all nice and like I actually put effort into it.

Oh, and that second panel where it's three in the morning? Yeah, that was pretty much every day until now. Actually, three is early. Going to bed at three is a luxury.

Apr 5, 2011

Diversity Squad Team NEMESIS

For every super squad that is formed, there is a club full of their arch-enemies. The same goes for the incredible Diversity Squad Team, whose regular villains include Wizard Hitler, robo-Walt Disney, the reincarnation of Nathan Bedford Forest, and Wonderbread, to name a few. Halfway through this comic, I had a much better idea for a villain, but it was too late, and I had made it political. Sadness. I don't like politics. Also, this is perhaps one of the most offensive comics I have ever drawn. It will only get worse from here on in. I should stop... but I won't.

Apr 2, 2011

Bedtime

I know I said I would make a comic for my Opa... and this is not that comic. Only because I ran out of time. Instead, here is a comic with me as a younger person. Isn't it cute? Yes. It is. The comic isn't funny. But I think featuring my young self makes up for its inherent lack of ingenuity. Also, the only reason I can never sleep is because I stay up extra late doing comics for you people. For example, it is 3:45 am right now. I am sure you feel very special now, since I stayed up late making this JUST for you, meager audience.

Mar 31, 2011

I Love the Taste Of Suffering In My Meat

You know those vegetarians who say that the fear the cows feel as they are being slaughtered stays in their meat, so that when we eat meat, we absorb their cow fear? I don't think I've ever met one, but I read a book once that used this as if it was scientific fact. It was silly. Everyone knows the taste of fear is what makes the meat so tasty and delicious. If you take out the fear, what's the point of meat? This comic goes out to my sister. You are as emotionless as the cold, lifeless vegetables you consume. You should try putting some fear and suffering on them, then maybe you will be exciting like me. You can read her vegetable blog HERE. http://barrenwaste.wordpress.com/

ALSO. TODAY IS MY OPA'S BIRTHDAY. My next update will either be about or will have an extra comic for him! I LOVE YOU OPA. I'M SORRY I CURSE ON MY BLOG AND FACEBOOK.

Mar 29, 2011

Raccoons!

This is based on true events, much in the same way that Texas Chainsaw Massacre was based on true events, in that something sort of like this happened, but I've changed it to make it exciting and not about Ed Gein. Also, LOOK OUT THERE'S CURSES. That warning is for all my relatives who don't approve of cursing, which is all of them. I used it as a crutch in this comic because it wasn't being funny. Curses make things funny sometimes. However, I am afraid nothing could save this comic from being lame. I have been full of inspiration lately, but only for drawing monsters, so I didn't have any comic ideas. All of them were like this. Maybe I'll do a Diversity Squad Team comic. There is no way to make those not fun. Anyway, enjoy this lame comic.

PS. Do you like raptor-me in the third panel there? I do. That's stalking-raptor. Sometimes I am attack-raptor, as well.

Mar 24, 2011

Imaginary Staring Contest

When I don't have any free time, I imagine all the awesome stuff I'll do when I finally do have free time. But when I get free time, all I do is this. Imaginary staring contests with the walls. This comic doesn't make much sense. At the time, it seemed like it would be TOTALLY hilarious. I think I was ridiculously wrong. But don't worry, when I have free time I'll draw an amazing two part comic about awesome stuff AND a super awesome banner to liven up the site! JK, I'm gonna have another staring contest. This one will be even longer and more intense than the last. That wall doesn't stand a chance.

Mar 22, 2011

Fifties B Movies In A Nutshell

A very small nutshell. This comic was going to be as long and uneventful as a fifties B-movie, but I thought that would be too horrible and mind-numbing (also I was too lazy.) So here is a quickie. Roughly based on every 50's B movie ever, except without the flying saucers and government involvement.

Mar 20, 2011

AspieTwin Powers ACTIVATE

This is the first comic I have put up in a WEEK. A whole WEEEEK. But it's for good reason. School shit was abound, and I am afraid school comes before Pusbuckets. Then I was too busy gettin' down on Friday to do one. I'm back on schedule now! Every two days expect a new comic!

Another Diversity Squad Team comic? Yes. I enjoy this team. This comic is about the AspieTwins. The female can turn into any of her OCs (Original Characters, which are almost always just Mary Sue Sparkledogs and/or recolors of other people's characters, having the sole flaw of "clumsiness"), and the man-child can turn into any form of bodily excretion. THE PERFECT TEAM.

Mar 14, 2011

DIVERSITY SQUAD TEAM, ASSEMBLE

When the world needs saving, one need only call upon the incredible force of the DIVERSITY SQUAD TEAM, which is definitely not racist in any way.
Sorry about these here sporadic updates, I just been busy is all. And this week is SUPER BUSY, I don't even really have time for sleep, so I shall try to update when I can.

Mar 11, 2011

The Horrors of Twilight

I decided it was time to finally see Twilight, and it was pretty much exactly what I expected. This "Bella" was about as deep as one of those plastic pools you put in your backyard. The inflatable kind, at that. And apparently she is clumsy? I believe that was her only personality trait... and it isn't even a personality trait. Also, Jacob looked like a total Dungeonmaster. The best part was when they were playing baseball. And by "best" I mean "least boring." And what kind of horrible bastardization of vampires are these? They can see themselves in mirrors, can have their picture taken, can't be staked, don't burst into flames in sunlight, and can live without human blood. What. What is the point. These are just immortal goths. But the most horrifying thing is Edward Cullen's horrendous forehead. IT'S SO... BIG. And Jacob is also just funny looking, perhaps even more so than Edward.Wait... no, nothing can beat that Cromagnon brow.
The horror........

THE HORROR

Mar 7, 2011

Homemade Megaphone

I was watching Jurassic Park the other day and this happened. Sohpie was "studying", and had made a megaphone out of her notes. It's a very effective study tool. People from less sophisticated universities (aka all of yours) wouldn't understand. It was agreed that she made the best dinosaur sounds with her magnificent makeshift megaphone, and that we should edit Planet Earth so all the animals were voiced by Sophie and her megaphone.

The more I read this comic, the more I realize how little sense it makes to anyone who wasn't there to hear it. OH WELL... next update is something, I forgot. I remember enough to know that it's awesome.

In conclusion, m is a really easy letter to alliterate. At least in that context.

Mar 5, 2011

Ancient Kids Concert

I went with Sam and Amanda to go see Ancient Kids play with some other bands, and that was hella yes. Ancient kids and the first band that played (Royal Palms?) were so awesome. But the most bodacious part of the night was when Spencer Krug walked in and sat down a table away from us. You remember Spencer Krug? http://www.comiceh.com/2011/01/spencer-krug-lives-here.html Boo-yah, I met that guy. Mission accomplished.
Also, that guy in the last panel is M. Night Shyamalan, and that is the second time I have used that joke. Sorry about that.

Mar 3, 2011

JURASSIC PARK OH MY GOD

This is going to be the third dinosaur comic that I have done in a row. Also, this post is NOT A COMIC. I would say that it's because I was trying new things, but that would be a lie because it's really that I just got a new computer today and haven't hooked up my scanner yet. This is not because I was negligent and wasting my time downloading the Dead Zone, but because a horde of zombies almost devoured everyone on my wing and I was the only one equipped to fight them off. So I was pretty busy this afternoon.

Anyways, back to dinosaurs. Today, when I got home from Vertebrate Evolution (aka dinosaur class), I was so excited that I downloaded all three Jurassic Park movies and watched them because dinosaurs are awesome. Back when I first saw those movies, I was all like "Yeah, big lizards, very nice, OH MY GOD JEFF GOLDBLUM'S EXPOSED MAN CHEST" I thought I understood how awesome it was. But no. I knew nothing.
Here is Jeff Goldblum's chest for those who haven't witnessed its sweaty majesty.
After taking Vertebrate Evolution, I watch that part where they see dinosaurs and I start screaming and crying because I am so filled with joy at seeing a real life (animatronic) MOTHERFUCKING DINOSAUR. But don't they see dinosaurs for every part of the film, asks a nonexistent annoying reader? YES. THE SCREAMING NEVER ENDS. My neighbor definitely knows I am insane now due to how much screaming has been happening. There may have been a shadow of a doubt before: someone could have just been stabbing me repeatedly, or showing me obscene images of car wrecks and "Gimps Gone Wild." But there is only so much time in which someone who is being stabbed can scream before they run out of blood and are dead, or someone who is being shown gimp porn becomes desensitized to the point of silence. The only reason someone would scream for such an indefinite amount of time is either because they are composing an album made entirely of screams or they have
gone HP Lovecraft-level insane.
HBRECKSFRDEC DINOSAURS DINOSAAAAURS
I never really thought giant monsters were scary. Even when Cloverfield came out, I was just like "NEAT" and that was that. But then I rewatched that scene where the T-Rex is chasing Jeff Goldblum's Jeep, and it suddenly occurred to me that that situation would actually be terrifying. I always thought terror was when you hide in your closet, but then the creepy Japanese-style undead monster is actually in there with you AND ALWAYS HAS BEEN, or when you find that botflies have been living under your skin for weeks. But then I thought how horrifying it is to almost get hit by a semi truck. Then I imagined the semi truck is a giant landshark hell-bent on making me its breakfast burrito, with teeth EVERYWHERE.
Like if this had legs and a brain bigger than a tangerine. PURE. TERROR.
Though science has gifted me with incredible excitement for the idea of living dinosaurs, it has cursed me with the knowledge that Jurassic Park would never happen. The BS in the film is pretty decent, but that is all it is. Sadly, we can't use blood from an amber-encased mosquito to clone perfect dinosaurs, even using frog DNA to fill in the incredible gaps there would be. Speaking of which, how would none of the super geneticists realize that making all of the dinosaurs female is a pretty dumb way to control breeding? SURELY a REAL scientist (aka not Michael Crichton) would have learned about the many species of creatures from totally different families and phyla (phylogenies? WHAT IS THE PLURAL) who had independently evolved the ability to switch genders when needed. Sometimes they don't even have to switch genders, they just asexually reproduce. Oh well, I suppose that's a detail you're okay in missing when you're GENETICALLY ENGINEERING FUCKING DINOSAURS.
Though genetic engineering and Jeff Goldblum do not always mix well
The whole message of the movie was kind of dumb, though. I know it was all like "NATURE IS AWESOME, EVOLUTION KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK IT'S DOING", but none of that matters when dinosaurs are involved. The paleontologists were all "what have you done", acting like creating dinosaurs was not THE single most amazing thing science will ever do. Then Hammond changed his mind, saying "Oh shit, you guys. You were right, this was all a huge mistake, sorry for creating dinosaurs." In reality, everyone involved would have been like "HOLY SHIT FUCKING DINOSAURS BEST THING EVER. If people die, it is for the greater good." Seriously. Dinosaurs. Best thing ever. Unless you bring Mosasaurs back. That is taking it too far.
Imagine a whale crossed with a crocodile, equipped with a bloodlust that can never be satiated. It would almost certainly be the end of all mankind.
I just realized this looks exactly like a Cracked article, only 100 times less interesting. Sorry about that. Comic in two days! IT WILL BE CUTE

In the meantime, I'm gonna watch the Dead Zone until Christopher Walken stops being awesome. Oh, wait... that will never happen. HE'S AWESOME, BY THE WAY

Mar 1, 2011

Dinosaur Party

Welcome to the FIRST UPDATE IN FOREVER. My computer was messed up AND I had to study for my dinosaur class exam, so I couldn't update until right now. So here you go. This happened to me this morning, but when I woke up the second time I looked outside and saw that it was snowing like nothing I had ever seen, and I thought "CLASS WILL BE CANCELED" and then I remembered that I live in Montreal and it is expected of me to brave a little frostbite here and there for the sake of my education. Someday, when Sophie has reverse-biologized dinosaurs, I will have my extravagant dinosaur party.
ALSO SINCE IT HAS BEEN SO LONG since my last real update, here are pictures from Nuit Blanche. Mine is horrible because I was tired. Jen and Sophie's were AWESOME THOUGH
See? Not very good. BUT VINCENT PRICE IS THERE

That one is JEN'S. IT'S GOT A FRONT BUM
THIS ONE IS FROM SOPHIE

Feb 25, 2011

Guest Comic: Guthrie Howard

SURPRISE. Another guest comic. Also done by one of my siblings. This time it is my bro. I think the lined paper is his style. CAN YOU FEEL HOW AVANT GARDE IT IS

I think this may be the last guest comic. I was expecting another one, but we shall see.

Feb 23, 2011

Guest Comic: James Nelson

YUP IT'S STILL GUEST COMIC WEEK. I have a couple more to go after this. Then it's back to the same ol' same ol'. This one is by my extraordinary boyfriend, and deals with the fact that our friend Jessica is a whale who eats everything in her path. She must consume copious amounts of salt to maintain the salinity of her sea home. I like the face at the end. WHO WOULDN'T LIKE THAT FACE.

Feb 21, 2011

Guest Comic: Maddie Howard

THIS COMIC IS BY MY SISTER. We're kind of bff's for life. She does a blog, too... it's http://barrenwaste.wordpress.com/ She posts everyday, unlike me. But mine have a greater occurrence of Sharktopus, and hers are about food. I'll be doing a guest comic for her in return! Eventually!